Stop Making Life Harder Than It Is
- Dr. CK Bray
- 3 hours ago
- 3 min read
What Am I Making Harder in My Life Than It Needs to Be?
Last week, I caught myself doing something ridiculous. I was reorganizing my desk drawer and somehow turned what should have been a five-minute task into a half-hour ordeal. Somewhere between the stapler and the sticky notes, I had this thought:
“Am I making my life harder than it needs to be?”
The honest answer: Absolutely! And not just with my desk drawer.
My Life, The IKEA Manual
Sometimes I treat life like a piece of IKEA furniture: over-tightening screws, misreading the instructions, and then redoing steps until it feels like a Herculean project. The truth is, many of the challenges in my life aren’t inherently problematic. I’m the one who keeps adding extra screws.
And the funny part? My brain is built to do precisely this.
Brain Science Behind the Chaos
Neuroscience tells us that much of this comes down to how the brain is wired. Our working memory is limited; it’s not meant to juggle endless streams of thoughts, tasks, and anxieties at once. When I start ruminating, multitasking, or designing elaborate systems to solve simple problems, I overload that delicate system. What should feel easy suddenly feels overwhelming.
The situation becomes worse due to how the brain operates as a predictive machine. Every moment, it’s scanning for what’s about to happen next. When I pile on layers of contingency plans, what-ifs, and second-guessing, the brain interprets all of that as error signals, as though something is off. Even if life is going smoothly, the brain insists that something is wrong and I should brace myself for something to go wrong.
Then there’s the Default Mode Network, the region that kicks in when the mind wanders or reflects. This network is great for daydreaming and creativity, but when it gets out of control, it fuels rumination and worry. That’s when I catch myself replaying an old conversation while brushing my teeth, or drafting the same email in my head three different times before actually sitting down to type it.
The problem, then, isn’t just “stress.” It’s circuitry that evolved to keep me alive, but now often sabotages my peace.
Why We Complicate the Simple
Still, there’s a reason the brain behaves this way. Making life harder sometimes serves us at least temporarily. Overcomplication gives the illusion of control. If something feels complex, then at least I get to feel like I’m in control of it. Struggle also reinforces identity. If it’s hard, it must be important, and by working harder than necessary, I get to feel significant.
The Hidden Price Tag of Overthinking
The costs, though, are real. When I complicate simple things, my mental energy drains faster than it should. I feel cognitively fatigued, less creative, and less present. The extra mental gymnastics come with an opportunity cost, too: while I’m busy overmanaging, I miss the obvious solutions, or worse, I miss joy. My body pays the price as well, because every unnecessary struggle fuels stress hormones, keeping me in a state of vigilance that quietly chips away at resilience over time.
How to Train The Brain for Simple
The good news is that the brain is adaptable. I can train myself to stop adding weight where none is needed. Writing things down helps, so I’m not using precious mental bandwidth to store everything. Setting simple constraints helps too. If I can’t explain a plan in one sentence, it’s probably too complicated. Pausing for a check-in with myself makes a difference; asking, “Am I actually solving something here, or just piling on more layers?” helps reset my course. And sometimes the most powerful reset comes through the body rather than the mind: going for a walk, breathing deeply, or moving in some way that brings me back to the present moment.
What helps most of all is reframing how I see my brain. It wasn’t designed for peace. It was designed for survival. If I want peace, I have to practice it intentionally, because it won’t come by default.
Maybe It Was Simple All Along
Maybe life isn’t meant to be a puzzle with missing pieces. Perhaps it’s already simple, and the real work is learning how to stop making it more complicated than it needs to be.
So next time I find myself over-organizing a desk drawer, or overthinking a project, I’ll try to pause, breathe, and ask:
“Is this really hard, or am I just adding extra screws?”
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