Why Do So Many People Think I'm Stupid?
- Dr. CK Bray
- 5 hours ago
- 3 min read
I have recently become aware of something important.
A surprising number of people and systems think I am not very bright.
A few times a day, a voice pretending to be someone named Jennifer rings my cell, and in a petulant, entitled voice, insists she’s calling me about a loan I never applied for. I have been preapproved, and they are only waiting for my response to send me money.
I’ve never interacted with them. I block each number, but the calls keep coming.
Then there is the tire guy.
I pull in for a routine check. He squints at my tires, tilts his head, and tells me my tread is dangerously low. I look. There is clearly tread. I live in Arizona, and it never snows and rarely rains. I don’t have great tread, but enough tread that I am not sliding into a ditch on the way home. He explains it slowly and repeats himself several times. Just in case I'm dumb.
Extended car warranty calls
Apparently, my car is both moments away from catastrophic failure and valuable enough that several strangers are deeply concerned about it. They care enough about me that they are spending their time making sure I can fix my car for nearly free if something goes wrong. The problem is that none of them knows what I drive. But all of the calls are urgent.
Hotel resort fees
You book a room. You pay for the room. Then you pay a mysterious daily fee for amenities you did not ask for and will not use. The explanation is always vague. The tone suggests this is normal, and you should have known.
Airline seat selection
The ticket gets you on the plane. The seat technically exists. But if you would like to sit in it comfortably or near the people you are traveling with, that will be extra. Somehow, the burden is on me for wanting both leg room and dignity.
Apparently, the world has decided to manage me as a high-risk user and an utter idiot for not being able to manage my life.
This is not just annoying. It is fascinating from a neuroscience and behavior standpoint.
Many modern systems are designed around the assumption that people are inattentive, forgetful, and slightly incompetent. Not maliciously. Efficiently. If you design for the lowest common denominator, you reduce liability. You increase compliance. You cover yourself.
The problem is that the brain does not experience this as helpful. It experiences it as condescension.
When the brain detects that it is being managed, corrected, or talked down to, Motivation drops. Curiosity shrinks. Resistance kicks in. The brain does not like being treated as incapable.
Over time, this creates a strange loop. Systems become more controlling because people stop paying attention. People stop paying attention because systems feel controlling.
Jennifer does not call because she thinks I need a loan. She calls because the system assumes someone like me will eventually comply even after 53 calls. The tire guy does not need to lie. He just needs to sound authoritative enough that I doubt myself.
And here is the funny part.
Most of us are highly competent in our own lives. We make complex decisions every day. Yet we spend an absurd amount of time being managed by systems that assume we cannot be trusted with basic judgment. As my kids were growing up, I constantly told them to be careful. Lots of people have an agenda, and it usually involves them taking money from you.
The brain responds to this by tuning out. Not rebelliously. Quietly. Which is why people miss real warnings while being bombarded with fake ones.
Neuroscience calls this learned irrelevance. When everything is flagged as important, nothing is.
Maybe the issue isn't that people are distracted or dumb. Maybe it is that we are swimming in environments that treat us that way.
If Jennifer ever stops calling, I will be disappointed. She has become a reminder.
When you design systems for idiots, you eventually create them.
And when you design systems that respect intelligence, people tend to rise to the occasion.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go check my tires. Apparently, they are in grave danger of going flat again due to low tread.
Dr. Bray
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