This is the Year You STOP!

Dr. CK Bray
1 day ago
2 min read

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As the year comes to a close, many people feel a strange mix of things at once. Relief that it is ending. Pressure to make 2026 better. And a quiet sense that something needs to change, even if they cannot fully name what it is. For some, the year was objectively hard. For others, it looked fine on the outside but felt heavier than expected. Effort did not translate into progress. Connection did not come as easily. And despite doing many things right, something still felt off. That feeling is not a failure of discipline or motivation. It is often a signal.

In my work, I have seen that most people are not held back by a lack of effort. They are held back by two things they keep carrying into each new season of life. The first is a familiar behavior that shows up under pressure. When life is calm, we are thoughtful and grounded. But under stress, criticism, fatigue, or emotional charge, something automatic takes over. We snap or shut down. We overexplain or avoid the conversation. We stay busy instead of being honest. At one point, that response helped us cope or stay safe. The problem is not that it exists. The problem is that it may now be outdated. What once protected you may now be limiting your relationships, your leadership, or your sense of progress.

The second thing many people need to stop is a deep look and self-reflection into how you are carrying life’s difficulties. Loneliness, uncertainty, feeling behind, unresolved hurt, strained relationships, or a quiet sense of disappointment often sit just beneath the surface of daily life. We smile, we function, we keep going, but underneath, we are nothing more than a hot mess ready for a meltdown. Neuroscience is clear that when emotional weight is carried silently or without meaning, the brain remains in a low-level threat state. Motivation drops. Patience shortens. Joy feels distant. This is not weakness. It is biology. Many people are not stuck because they are failing. They are stuck because they are carrying too much alone.

As you look toward 2026, before filling your calendar with new goals, pause and ask two honest questions. What do I do under pressure that makes things harder for me? And what am I carrying right now that is shaping how I show up every day. The goal is not to erase these things, but to notice them, name them, and decide to relate to them differently. Find a witness for what you are carrying. A friend, a therapist, a trusted leader. Do not bury it. Letting light in is often the first real step forward. Real change, real support, and a genuinely better year do not begin with doing more. They begin with stopping what no longer serves you.

This is the year to find the two things that may be holding you back, and stopping those before you make a long list of New Year's Resolutions.

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