What to Say When an Employee Is Struggling: Lessons from Therapy That Every Leader Should Know - Part 1
- Dr. CK Bray
- 9 hours ago
- 2 min read
Let’s face it: today’s workplace is more emotionally complex than ever. Between mounting workloads, personal stress, and the lingering effects of global uncertainty, many employees are quietly struggling. In the September–October 2023 issue of Harvard Business Review, the article "Helping an Employee in Distress" explores a crucial topic—how managers can better support team members who are going through a difficult time. The article begins by introducing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a widely used approach in psychology, and shows how some of its principles can help leaders respond with clarity and empathy.
CBT is all about helping people recognize and shift negative thought patterns that affect their emotions and behaviors. You might not be a therapist, but if you’ve ever helped someone talk through a stressful situation and see it from a different angle, you’ve already practiced a bit of what CBT teaches. When an employee feels overwhelmed or stuck, a CBT-informed leader can help them identify and challenge unhelpful stories they’re telling themselves and work together to reframe the situation in a more constructive way. It’s not about ignoring challenges—it’s about helping someone view them with a bit more balance and control.
But CBT isn’t the only helpful framework. Another valuable approach, especially in a workplace setting, is something called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT (pronounced like the word “act”). Where CBT focuses on changing thoughts, ACT encourages people to accept their internal experiences and focus instead on taking meaningful action aligned with their values. That might sound abstract, but it’s surprisingly powerful. For example, instead of trying to “fix” a feeling of self-doubt or anxiety, ACT teaches that those emotions can exist alongside the work we care about. The goal isn’t to eliminate discomfort—it’s to move forward anyway, guided by what matters most.
Imagine an employee who’s feeling anxious about a big presentation. A CBT lens might help them challenge the thought that they will fail. An ACT lens, on the other hand, might help them accept that nerves are natural, while focusing on the value of communicating clearly and connecting with the audience. Both approaches are helpful, and together, they give managers more tools to meet people where they are.
So what does this mean for leaders? It means showing up as a calm, steady presence. It means being willing to listen, without rushing to find a solution. It means helping employees reflect on what is within their control, while reminding them of the bigger purpose behind their work. And sometimes, it means modeling the mindset that it’s okay not to feel okay and that progress can still happen, even in challenging moments.
Supporting an employee in distress doesn’t require a psychology degree. However, with a bit of awareness and a willingness to borrow insights from approaches like CBT and ACT, managers can play a meaningful role in helping people feel seen, supported, and more empowered to persevere.
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