Dr. CK Bray
What Should I Do With My Life?
In my town, a charismatic and successful individual in his thirties started a once-a-month meeting for teenagers. He brings in extraordinary individuals from all different walks of life to tell their stories and answer questions about creating a prosperous life and business. It is phenomenal and, for many, life-changing. It is intended to be one hour, but more often than not, it extends to ninety minutes and sometimes 2 hours. These young people are riveted because it is a topic they are deeply interested in and hungry to learn more about. Topics they rarely get to discuss in high school.
By the second meeting and by only word of mouth, he already had over 50 kids in attendance. Jason is making a difference and doing work that I would classify as more critical than his day job. Last night was one of those meetings, and a young person asked, "What should I do with my life? What would you do if you were me?" I loved the question because it was honest but with no single answer. So I want to try to answer that question today. It doesn't matter your age, your sex, your education, or your monetary worth; I have an answer for you.
The first thing you should do with your life is find a close friend or intimate partner. Loneliness is literally a killer; it is the new smoking. You need to find someone you can trust to call in the middle of the night or an emergency. Now that takes time and effort, which many people tell me they don't have. But you have no choice; good close friendships take time and are vital to your well-being. How do you find them? Don't look for the person who is right for you, be the person that someone else would want. Look at yourself and be brutally honest about what is good and attractive about you and what aspects of your personality or life drive people away. Something your parents should have identified and stopped when you were nine years old but didn't. Someone will come along (if you are putting yourself out there), which may surprise you. Worry more about who you are instead of who others are. There is a reason you are attracting specific individuals.
The second thing to do is practice being good at something. Mediocrity is disgusting and unattractive. You don't need to be good at everything, but you must be good at one or two things. Something that shows you care about progressing in your life and makes you stand out. Show others you have a vision for yourself and your life. I'm not saying you need to be world-renowned, just known by those around you. I have a friend named Stout who can smoke a brisket like no one else. He is a master at it, and it makes him interesting and fun to have around, especially during dinner time. My niece makes stunningly beautiful things out of resin and has become so good she sells them at the local farmers market.
Fix something, and make your environment better. Clean out one drawer a day, clean your car, and paint a room. Improve your life. It feels so good and gives you some control. Start small. Be responsible to yourself and your future self. Be responsible and productive for as many people as you can manage. (Your spouse, your children, your siblings, your community). This is where the gold of meaning, fulfillment, and happiness is found. But to get the gold, you have to defeat the dragon. Your dragon. The thing that stops you from being successful, happy, responsible, and doing more. What is it? It is the one thing you know you should stop doing, yet you probably find every excuse not to stop. Too much social media, pornography, thinking about things you shouldn't, or wasting your life away on addictions. You are feeding the dragon. When you do this, sooner or later, the dragon will breathe fire and burn you and those closest to you. When you take action to improve and become a better version of yourself, you draw others to you and create an adventure that fulfills your life purpose. Now you know what you should do with your life in 2023!
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