The True Wealth That’s Not Found In Your Bank Account
- Dr. CK Bray
- Sep 4
- 4 min read
The True Wealth That’s Not Found In Your Bank Account
I’m in a good place financially. The company continues to grow and we work with several phenomenal large organizations. I have also tried to live within my means (as much as you can with six children who love “to do”!) So, from an outward perspective, everything’s fine. But if I’m being honest, when I take a step back, I still feel a certain kind of “poverty" quite often.
And no, I don’t mean the literal kind, the kind of poverty that keeps people up at night, wondering how they’ll make ends meet or feed their families. I’m not talking about those whose lives are shaped by scarcity. I’m talking about the deeper, less visible kinds of poverty. The ones that money can’t fix and will never be able to fix.
I read an article by Ryan Holiday called “These are all the ways I feel poorer than I am” (the author who writes about stoic philosophy). In his article, he talked about how he feels poor. He mentioned he had a conversation with Sahil Bloom, a writer and thinker on wealth. In addition to financial wealth, he pointed out, there’s a whole other spectrum of wealth we rarely think about: time wealth, social wealth, emotional wealth, mental wealth, and physical wealth. It’s the kind of wealth that no number on a paycheck can measure, but which holds just as much power in shaping our happiness and well-being.
I've met several multi-millionaires who, on paper, have everything, but they’re utterly poor. Not because they don't have money (they have plenty) but because their lives are a mess. They're addicted to the chase. They lack meaningful relationships. They’re caught in a spiral of insecurity, constantly worried that they’ll lose it all. They might have everything but feel like they have nothing. It’s a hollow kind of wealth.
I don’t say this to judge them, though. I get it. I have my own version of this poverty. There is often a feeling I get that something is missing or just doesn’t feel right. And that “something” can’t be bought with money.” It is something I am missing in the most important aspects of my life.
Take my stress and worry, for example. When combined, it creates a sadness. I have a good career, but still, I spend far too much of my time anxious, stressed out, and worried about potential negative future events to my company, to my family, and those I care about. Mentally, I’m not free. I often find myself in a jail cell of worry and it is miserable.
It’s the kind of anxiety that strikes during the middle of the night. I wake up and have this intense fear and stress. I have missed an important deadline, I said something dumb during a keynote, I should have been kinder to that individual in my neighborhood, and even though I know I’m secure and can survive things going wrong occasionally, I still get that anxious knot in my stomach. It’s silly, it’s stupid, and it is irrational, but it’s there and it hits hard at times.
I’ve realized that worry and stress are a real cost. They have stolen so much from me: hours of sleep, moments of joy, precious time I could have spent focusing on my family, or simply being present in my writing, speaking, and teaching. How many days have I wasted stressing about things that have yet to happen, instead of enjoying the present?
But this is not just about me. It’s something we all suffer from. We spend so much time worrying about imaginary problems that we create real ones. We try to control what we can’t control, and that always leaves us running on empty.
Another type of wealth that I’ve neglected. My social wealth. I’ll admit it: I don’t have as many close friends as I should. I keep busy with work and family, which can be isolating, especially when you travel or have a ton of kids.
In my teenage and college years, I’d show up at a friend’s house without an agenda. We didn’t need to do anything; we’d just hang out. We didn’t even need a plan. But now, as an adult, that kind of spontaneous connection seems foreign. Why? Because I’m too busy. My work, my family, my responsibilities, there’s not enough time. I miss those days, though. I envy that younger me who didn’t have anything to worry about, except enjoying the present.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t want to be wealthy in one area of my life. I want to be rich in all the ways that matter: in health, in relationships, in time, in purpose, and spirituality. The balance of your bank account doesn’t measure true wealth, it is measured by the balance in your life.
I hope you spend some time thinking about this topic. It is well worth examining these areas of your life.
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