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  • Writer's pictureDr. CK Bray

The Surprising Truth of You

Have you ever wondered how others perceive you? Are you desperate to know if people think you're as funny, charming, and irresistible as you believe yourself to be? Well, fear not! Dr. Bray is here to reveal the shocking reality. Except, you probably aren’t ready for it. Let's face it, do we really want to know the truth? Ignorance can be bliss! Nonetheless, if you're brave enough to face the music, read on!

It is true we often overestimate our level of self-awareness. According to research, only a measly 10-15% of people are genuinely self-aware. The rest of us are wandering around with our heads in the clouds, blissfully ignorant of our true selves and how others perceive us. This can be disastrous for our careers and relationships.

Evidence shows that people who know themselves and how others see them are happier. They make smarter decisions. They have better personal and professional relationships. They raise more mature children. They’re smarter, superior students who also choose better careers. They are more creative, more confident, and better communicators. They are less aggressive and less likely to lie, cheat and steal. They are better performers at work who get more promotions. They’re more effective leaders with more enthusiastic employees. They even lead more profitable companies. That is a lot of MOREs!

On the flip side of that coin, a lack of self-awareness can be disastrous. Your success depends on understanding who you are and how you come across to bosses, clients, customers, employees, peers, and family members. It is crucial for both your happiness and success.

In her book, “Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think.” Tasha Eurich shares several ways to become more self-aware.

First, ask “What” questions more often than “Why” questions. Asking “what” keeps us open to discovering new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in conflict with our existing beliefs. Asking why has an essentially opposite effect. A few strong “What” questions to ask for self-reflection include:

“What am I feeling?”

“What’s going on?”

“What is the dialogue inside my head?”

“What’s another way to see this situation?”

“What can I do to respond better?”

Second, don’t ruminate! Rumination clearly hurts our ability to accurately read our internal state. Even though it is largely an inward focus, it can hurt our external self-awareness. Ruminators are so busy beating themselves up they neglect to think about how they might be showing up to others. They generally ignore or avoid feedback. They also tend to be poor perspective-takers.

Learning how to self-reflect can be key to getting “unstuck” in your life and progressing forward with the goals and opportunities that lie before you.

To learn more, buy Tasha Eurich's incredible book, “Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think.” It is humorous, full of great research, and very applicable in the workplace. I highly recommend it!






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