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  • Writer's pictureDr. CK Bray

One At A Time

It is 2018 and many of you have written New Years Goals. Things you want to accomplish, experience, and ways you can make your life better this year. Let me offer a suggestion for adding just one more goal to your list. This goal when done daily will have more effect than all of your others combined. (Put me to the test and try it for one week). Choose one random person a day and find a small way to make their day better. Let them know you see them. Cheer them on, applaud their effort, let them know someone is rooting for them. How? Start by asking their name and how their day is going. Pay them a compliment, buy their drink or sandwich at lunch. As much as every advertisement tells you life is about nice clothes, cars, apartments, homes, a great physique, and winning---it really isn't. It's about one person at a time.

I started doing it the first of December and I had one of the best holidays I have had in years.

Four ladies in a car behind me at a fast-food drive-through honked and yelled out their window at me to pull up to the order menu board. (They might have even called me stupid) They didn't realize the menu board had been changed and that I was in the right place. I bought their food and told the employee taking my money to let the ladies know they made my night by trying to help me out. One person at a time, once a day.

I stopped for a soda at a convenience store and asked the employee how she was doing and paid a compliment on her infectious laugh that had made me smile. She told me that I was the only person who had really seen her or talked to her that day, she thanked me and told me my drink was free. One person at a time, once a day.

The more I try to notice people in my boring everyday life, the more I realize that most people don't smile or laugh and there are likely some good reasons they don't. But in their one minute with me, I can cheer them on from the ringside. I can be someone who lifts a heavy burden they are carrying for just a small moment. It is about people. One person at a time, once a day.

It is important to realize that you may never know the effect you are having. Most times you won't and that's fine because you are changing how you think and how you perceive others. (Yes, there is some cognitive science behind this).

So along with all the effectiveness, efficiency, success, and "live your best life" advice you read this month, throw in this goal and let me know how it goes.


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