CHASING RICH (Or Richer)
- Dr. CK Bray
- Jul 3
- 3 min read
I was talking to someone the other day, someone wildly successful by most standards. He is financially secure, respected, and has a beautiful home, thriving business, and plenty of freedom. And yet, as we were talking, he said something that caught me off guard: “Sometimes I feel really poor.”
He wasn’t talking about money. He acknowledged his material success and privilege. He meant something deeper. He felt stretched thin. Anxious. Disconnected. His days were packed yet somehow hollow. And that moment hit me harder than I expected, because I’ve felt it too, especially when I travel and get so busy.
It’s Time to Rethink Wealth
We’ve been taught to equate wealth with money. But neuroscience and ancient philosophy tell us that’s only one dimension. In a recent conversation, Sahil Bloom described other types of wealth: time wealth, social wealth, mental wealth, and physical wealth. Each is critical to a truly rich life.
Neuroscience shows us that pursuing financial gain lights up the dopamine system, the reward system that drives us toward novelty and more. But dopamine adapts. What once thrilled us quickly becomes normal. This is known as hedonic adaptation, leading us to jump on the hedonic treadmill of always seeking.
In contrast, serotonin and oxytocin, which foster trust, connection, and contentment, are released not by money but by relationships, gratitude, and presence. These are the real sources of well-being. And they’re easy to ignore when we’re caught in the chase. The high cost of anxiety and stress robs us of the very wealth we seek. Seneca wrote, “He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.” We worry twice, paying emotional interest on problems that may never come.
Spending Down the Wrong Accounts
We often obsess over our financial net worth while ignoring the value in our calendars, relationships, and peace of mind. If we’re too busy to go for a walk, visit a friend, or take a deep breath, swim in the lake, or be with family, are we wealthy? Remember, ownership doesn’t guarantee connection, and wealth doesn’t ensure presence.
The Stoic View of Wealth
The Stoics didn’t define wealth by bank balances. They defined it by autonomy and inner peace. Epictetus, born into slavery, was freer than many emperors because he desired little. Seneca, one of the richest men in Rome, was tormented by his obligations and ambition.
Real wealth is the ability to say “no.” To protect your time. To skip a meeting and play with your kids. It’s having enough, not in your account, but in your heart and schedule.
And it’s not just philosophical; it’s neurological. Gratitude practices, mindfulness, and intentional living activate the brain’s prefrontal cortex and calm the default mode network, which is responsible for mind wandering and overthinking. That shift gives us more clarity, calm, and control.
Questions That Matter:
Does your schedule reflect the life you say you value?
Are you sacrificing connection or health to earn more?
Do you use money to create freedom or just more pressure?
What deposits are you making in your emotional bank account?
What True Wealth Looks Like
One of the richest moments in my life? Leaving work midday to be with my wife and kids. Not because I had to, but because I could. That’s what I worked for. That’s what money, systems, and boundaries are supposed to buy: time for what matters most.
Tools for Building Lasting Wealth:
Daily Check-Ins: Ask, "What truly enriched my day today?"
Breathwork: Slow breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system.
Tech Boundaries: Protect your focus with offline time.
Calendar Alignment: Match your schedule to your stated values.
Rituals of Connection: Weekly friend check-ins, date nights, unplugged family time.
Gratitude Practice: Reflect on three small things daily.
Nature Immersion: Spend 20 minutes outdoors daily to reset.
Movement: Regular exercise enhances brain plasticity and emotional balance.
Intentional Spending: Invest in tools or help that frees your time and reduces stress.
Ultimately, a truly rich life isn’t about what you own; it’s about how you live. And often, it’s not the numbers that need to change. It’s the story we tell ourselves about what wealth really means. Think about that for the next few days!
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